Coaching and TGROW - Part 3
Part 3: The “R” in TGROW
Having gone through the Topic and Goal phases of the TGROW model, we now explore reality before moving onto generating and weighing your options. This process requires an open and honest mind and heart to be successful. Remember that here as well as in a coaching space, you have nothing to prove, it is a safe space for you to be open with yourself.
Reality
This is about exploring your current situation as it relates to your goal. We focus on uncovering facts, challenges and any underlying dynamics that may influence your journey. This is not about judgement or evaluation but about being honest and objective about where you stand. Here are some questions coaches may use to help you uncover any blind spots and help you develop a deeper understanding of your circumstances.
"What is happening right now?"
"What have you already tried to reach your goal?"
"What challenges or obstacles are you currently facing?"
"What resources or support do you have at your disposal?"
"How do you feel about your current situation?"
These questions invite you to reflect honestly and deeply on their present reality, including successes, failures, and challenges. This reflection can also help you identify limiting beliefs, habits, or environmental factors that are either supporting or hindering their progress.
Identifying Strengths and Challenges
By exploring what is working well, you may recognize existing resources and capabilities you can leverage to achieve your goals.
Uncovering challenges is equally important. These challenges could be internal, such as a lack of confidence or fear of failure, or external, such as time constraints, limited resources, or workplace politics.
For example, a client may initially feel stuck in their career, but upon further exploration, they may realize that they have strong industry connections they haven’t yet leveraged, or perhaps they’ve developed valuable skills that are transferable to a new role. Similarly, the client might discover patterns in their behaviour that are contributing to their challenges, such as procrastination or poor time management.
Encouraging Facts and Reflection
You may sometimes feel overwhelmed by your emotions, which can cloud your judgment or make the situation seem more daunting than it is. Coaches help to ask clarifying questions that help you view their situation more objectively. This doesn’t mean dismissing emotions, but rather helping to separate facts from feelings, which leads to a clearer picture of reality.
For example, if a client expresses frustration about not making progress on a project, the coach might ask, “What specific actions have you taken so far?” This question encourages the client to shift from an emotional state to a more reflective and fact-based perspective.
Self-Coaching
Admittedly, this process requires a high level of self-awareness and a willingness to explore areas that will probably be uncomfortable. However, remember that the first step toward transformative progress is awareness and you are probably well on your way to building the life you want!
If you possess great powers of visualization, you could sit in a different spot than usual and speak out loud about the various aspects of reality as if you were a third party looking upon a friend or client. I’ve had great feedback regarding this from clients, that by simply visualizing they were discussing a third party, they very readily were willing to speak out facts that they may have felt uncomfortable admitting to.
With your specific goals in hand, write down as objectively as possible, the challenges, resources, strengths and opportunities you may draw upon. Remember that this is not the time to evaluate / judge what you have on hand, that will come next as we explore your options as well as evaluating them.
